We recently published an article on the mental health burdens of young adults who move away to attend college (view here). While they require improved access to counseling services to be free to reap rewards of the collegiate experience, it’s important to not overlook what parents are going through too. While mature in years, those who are preparing to or have already released their young adult children into the ether of post-secondary education experience an unprecedented wave of feelings and emotions. These can weigh heavy on their mental wellness and make those first few weeks or months seem insufferable. As someone who has come online for insight into what parents experience when they have students living away from home, you’re probably among this group. Kindbridge is here for you. Read ahead for an overview of this experience and concluding call to action that will help you focus on the positive aspects of the transition.
Mental Health Concerns Specific to Parents of Young Adult Students Who Attend University Away from Home
Fears About Health and Safety of their Student
Parents worry deeply about child students living away from home, be it on-campus or off-campus.
The “health” concerns aren’t just about whether or not their kids will eat right and get adequate sleep amidst academic and athletic workloads. Research indicates that 76% of parents believe that mental health is a serious issue on college campuses, with 68% feeling responsible for monitoring and managing their student’s mental health conditions. Innate parental concern coupled with feelings of responsibility for their child’s potential struggle with anxiety, stress, and depression can cause or increase a parent’s own anxiety, stress, and depression.
Further, parent’s fear for their young adult’s safety when attending school away from home. They worry about threats such as robbery, burglary, physical and sexual violence. While specific data on the exact percentage of parents concerned about college campus safety is limited, parents likely exhibit the same concerns as their student children do. Surveys indicate that 82% of college students feel unsafe on campus, which will most certainly contribute to parental concerns. As with mental heath stressors, safety concerns can cause or elevate anxiety, stress, and depression, and aggravate any other mental or behavioral health concerns that they (parents) struggle with.
Empty Nest Syndrome
Empty nest syndrome may not be a formal clinical diagnosis, but the emotional feelings of sadness, loss, and grief that many parents experience when their children leave home to attend college are real in every way. And despite it not being a mental illness itself, it can significantly impact mental health and may contribute to or exacerbate existing conditions such as anxiety and depression.
Signs and symptoms of empty nest syndrome include the following:
- Feelings of anxiety
- Feelings of sadness and grief
- Feelings of loneliness and isolation
- Difficulty sleeping
- Loss of appetite, especially during eating schedules (breakfast, lunch, and dinner) that were once enjoyed with one’s child
- Loss of motivation and interest in activities, especially those associated with one’s child
- Feelings of anger and irritability
Of further concern, as that to deal with the negative feelings and emotions associated with empty nest syndrome, a parent may turn to unhealthy distractions and coping behaviors. Examples of concerning coping mechanisms include the following:
- Consumption of mind-altering substances
- Overeating
- Casino gaming and sports betting
- Unhealthy gaming
- Unhealthy sexual behavior
Parental Self-invalidation
Self-invalidation is a term used to describe when someone minimizes their feelings and emotions. While there are a variety of reasons for why this occurs, it is a characteristic found among parents who sideline their own wellness concerns to focus on that of their children.
Sound familiar?
Remember, your feelings and emotions matter just as much as anyone’s. So while you may choose to put on a brave face in front of (or when communicating with) your beloved college student, be sure to find support for yourself. You need someone to express feelings of sadness, fear, and uncertainty to. Talking it through with your spouse, partner, coparent, or other loved one (where applicable) is a great place to start, but supplement this with specialized counseling services. With improved psychological wellness you will be better prepared to be there for your child when they get homesick (which they invariably do) and come calling for a home-cooked meal with a side of TLC.
Through counseling and mindfulness training, you will develop healthy coping strategies and learn to prioritize your own psychological wellness. This generally occurs through a combination of the following:
- Reframing parental perspectives about having a child attend university away from home
- Development of new interests and hobbies that support positive feelings and emotions
- Spending more quality time with a spouse or partner (as applicable)
- Spending more quality time with other children and family members (as applicable)
- Prioritizing physical health through balanced nutrition and fitness
- Participating in breathing exercises and meditation
Parents are encouraged to make a worthwhile investment in a counseling subscription (view here) that can be used to get through the initial weeks and months of when a child is away at college for the first time. This should be considered as being as equally essential as tuition, books, and other investments associated with having a child enrolled in post-secondary education. Sessions can be completed as a couple, family, or on a one-on-one basis with a counselor.
Mental Health Support for Parents of University Students
CALL +1 (877) 426-4258
OR
Email help@kindbridge.com
